Fish Tales

Two nights ago we had a delicious dinner of an over-sized blackfish, grilled a la natural on our hotplate, unadulterated by herbs or spices, and as fresh as it possibly can be. Who said we couldn't feed ourselves?

Having said that, the fishing hasn't been quite as brilliant as we'd envisaged. Despite the best fishing advice from our fishing-legend brother-in-law Terry, who has been known to catch enough fish to feed the multitudes using a bent pin and a piece of string, we've not had the pleasure of those much anticipated, longed-awaited fish dinners each night, despite the smorgasbord of bait we've been feeding the fish. We've got a range of venues to choose from by way of a breakwater, pontoon, river and lagoon, all without any reel (pardon the pun!) success. That's not to say, we haven't actually caught fish - we most certainly have. However instead of being fingertip to elbow in size, it's been more like fingertip to palm, so of course they've been sent back to their mothers! Those cans of sardines in the pantry are going to come into use after all!

The Excuses:

Tide: too high; too low; too late; too early; too fast; too slow.

Bait: Long green weed (supposed to send (black)fish 'wild' definitely sent them (into the) wild); cabbage weed; beef strips; chicken strips; bait prawns, and 4 new bright, shiny lures, (designed we were told to catch just about anything), 2 of which have found watery graves somewhere in Numbucca!

Gear: Rod too long; rod too short; rod too flexible; line too light, and definitely too many tangles!!!

And today it's raining!

By the way, the fish we had for dinner the other night was given to us by an 'ancient angler', fishing about 10 metres away, who obviously took pity on a couple of 'youngsters' struggling to make a catch. His generous gesture came with the words, "I just caught this so it is perfectly fresh. They're not biting much and I've only caught this one. I can't be bothered cleaning it......... would you like it? "

Would we like it? Is the Pope catholic?


Now for that inevitable fishing joke: Did you hear the one about 2 men sitting out on a frozen lake all day ice fishing? One has been having no luck at all, while the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." is the reply.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." the successful fisherman repeats.

"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you."

The man spits something into his hand and says very clearly, "You've got to keep your worms warm."